numb

 
 
I just want to feel something. Anything at all. 
I smile, laugh, cry and scream but I feel nothing.
 
 

We do not exist anymore

 
All I want is a drink in my hand, the loudest music to enfold me and a beautiful boy to rest my eyes on. 
Maybe after I've let my lips touch another, after I've danced my feet sore and my body beyond recognition,
after I've lain entwined with a fine man, maybe then I'll give you another chance. As for now, you mean nothing. 
Hope you cry yourself to sleep evey night for what you did. 
 
 

there's beauty in everything

 
 
How amazing it would be to just hold you now. Touch your skin. Look into your eyes and tell you that I love you.
To be overwhelmed by the extreme happiness that embraces me each time I see you after we've spent time apart. 
I want to be free with you. I want to explore the world with you. I want to spend every waking breath with you. 
It's comforting knowing that each day that passes brings us closer together. Still every hour we spend apart lasts
longer and longer. It's as if our dimension of time moves in slow motion whenever you are not with me. I can feel
every second because they are seconds spent away from you. Three days was all it took to fall completely for you,
and now it's been you and me for over 15 months. We are so lucky, despite the distance, because we have found
each other. It's frustratingly hard, but at the same time so beautiful, missing someone this much. 
 
 



the things that would never have been


To think that 10 minutes, an insignificant amount of time compared to the time we have in a lifetime,
were the most significant minutes of your life. Those 10 minutes could have meant the end of your enitre
existence. I still can't wrap my mind around that. This beautiful seed we have planted together that we
keep nurturing and growing could have been yanked right out and we would never have been able to see it
blossom. Our oasis could have turned into a desert in only a matter of minutes. All the things we haven't yet
seen, the things that haven't yet been. Things I want to share with no one other than you.

We fight, lose our temper, scream and say things that we regret but I still treasure each and every moment I get
to spend with you. Eternally thankful for doctors, medicine and your mothers instinct. 
 
forever


subtle changes within


It feels like something has robbed my soul of creativity. I'm yearning for the moment when it will be brought back.
There is so much I want to share. 

 
 

vacay



All exams got postponed until january, due to political protests, so I've been on holiday for a week already!
Spent all of it in Cambodia - to nobody's surprise. Now I am currently in Bangkok to run some errands and in
two days I'll be hopping on the bus to cross the border once again. 
 
Koulen Mountain, Cambodia


dos semanas



Escaped to Cambodia once again as two of my final exams got postponed. Spending my time revising, playing
pool like a boss and soaring in a love bubble. Two weeks until my family arrives in Thailand! 




mouthwatering evening in Chinatown

 
 
Went to Chinatown here in Bangkok last friday with some good friends of mine. We ate the most delicious
seafood from a roadside restarurant on Yaowarat road. Fried squid, crab curry, seaweed soup, chinese broccoli
in garlic sauce, marinated prawns etc. It was exquisite! 

 
 

reading this and thinking about us made me cry

 
 
"This morning,
with her,
having coffee"

- Johnny Cash when asked for his descpription of paradise.
 
 <3


wroom wroom

 
 
Will be walking on Khmer soil tomorrow. Longing to play snooker and pool, sitting on a red plastic chair eating
streetfood, exploring the countryside, relaxing with a drink at some lonesome place along a dirt road.
Also longing for the day I own a kitchen. Imagine the greatness I could create! Oh lord


 

the ability to be great

 
I think it's important to remind ourselves about what we value in life. To bear in mind what kind of people we truly
look up to and strive to gain those specific qualities aswell. To trace the things that bring us true unconditioned
joy. I believe alot of people get so caught up in fitting into a certain mold, or fitting in with the "right" kind of
people, that they neglect parts of their true persona. 
 
 
I admire people who: 
 
-smile genuinly
-love fearlessly
-care about others
-stand up for injustice
-stand up for themselves
-work hard to fulfill their dreams
-reach beyond what's considered normal
-strive to perfect their inner beauty
-value happiness more than money
-care about the environment
-do things their own way
 
 

all about us

 

Time to bring this blog back to life. I can feel it. 
Starting with some pictures from the past three months of Cambodia and Thai life.
Left hand side Cambodia. Right hand side Thailand.
 
 

come summer

 
I just want to fall asleep with his arms around me.
Nothing else would make me feel more at home.
It's merely nine days left but it feels like an eternity.
 
 
 
 

hola


Back on the web. Back in uni, having midterm exams already. 
Somebody took the bus to Cambodia this morning, but it wasn't me. My turn in three weeks.
Going to continue exploring Bangkok this year through the lens of my new camera. 

yummie


let's be indestructible

 
Feels empty falling asleep without your arms around me.
Those arms that have been holding me every day for the
past four months. Overloading emptiness.
I know we'll be together soon, walking hand in hand
under the Cambodian sun. I know I can get on a bus and
be in your arms 9 hours later. But still the space between
us never ceases to feel endless whenever we're apart. 
 
 

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